si-mexico Chapter 217: Don't love me anymore?
Chapter 217: Don't love me anymore?
After the conversation, the two fell into silence, with only the sound of the wind sweeping past them...
"Not good." After a long, long time, Yun Jingman opened her cherry lips and uttered these words softly.
Gu Yue had been staring at Yun Jingman and could see a hint of sadness and fear on her face, and her heart ached for no reason again.
"After waking up, I couldn't find any familiarity with this world. Everything was terribly strange to me. Whenever I tried to recall, my mind was blank. The life-saving driftwood, my dependence, actually became his disgust. I don't like this." Yun Jingman said lightly. She had lost her memory, but her temperament remained the same.
"In fact, it is a blessing to be able to forget some things in the past. Life is too heavy for human beings. Only when you put down the burden of the past can you find the meaning that you care about most and think is most important in the future. The past is over, why do you have to think about it deliberately and add to your troubles?" Gu Yue has never said so many words before. He has always been a man of few words, but tonight he said so many words.
Moreover, every word was what he thought in his heart. If possible, he would rather forget the past, break free from the control of the palace master, let go of the so-called hatred, and protect the woman in front of him well, and live out his short life...
However, he did not get such luck after all. God wanted him to feel everything truly and even made him miss her, the most important thing in his life.
"What does Yue think is happiness? Is forgetting everything in the past happiness? How can a person who doesn't even know her own past be happy? I think denying the past is denying all my rights to pursue the meaning of the future." It turned out that she also felt that it was understandable to forget, because at least there was someone who loved her wholeheartedly by her side, but she discovered tonight that this was not the case.
She can't live her life in vain like this, she must remember everything in the past, this is the meaning of her existence, the meaning she cannot abandon.
"In the middle of the night, I woke up from nightmares so many times, and kept asking myself a question: Who am I? Am I just his wife, the only person he loves in this life, as he said? From now on, will I be trapped here and spend the rest of my life under his memory? Is this the life I wanted before I lost my memory?"
Yun Jingman didn't look at Gu Yue, and continued talking to himself: "Before tonight, I thought all this was unimportant. But after tonight, I found that this is very important, very important to me. From the moment I saw the disgust in his eyes, I suddenly woke up. It turns out that I shouldn't grow around him like a vine, I should have my own self.
Gu Yue did not interrupt, but listened quietly to everything she told him. It was late at night and the wind was cold, and he knew that this was the sound of a heart approaching.
"So, no matter how happy or painful my past memories are, I want to get them back one by one. Because my past, my present, and my future can constitute the complete life of Sang Yuhanyan. This is the meaning of my existence." Yun Jingman said firmly. The tears soaked and the brightness after washing were like stars shining in Gu Yue's eyes.
This is the real Yun Jingman. Regardless of whether she has lost her memory or not, this is her original character, clear and transparent, but very strong.
"Even if the past was a painful torture for you, are you still determined to get back your memories of the past?" Gu Yue asked in a calm voice. In fact, he already knew the answer.
"Yes, I want to get it back. No matter how painful it is, no matter how hard it is to accept, no matter how heartbreaking it is, no matter if the past is shrouded in darkness. I must get it back. People without memories have lost their past. People who have lost their past are not qualified to live in this world. Life is full of ups and downs, so no matter whether it is good or bad, I want it all."
In the dark night, Gu Yue saw a holy light around Yun Jingman, which was a respect for the meaning of life, and an admirable strength to struggle tenaciously for the present comfort. Compared with her, he felt how shameful his cowardly act of wanting to escape was.
Gu Yue stared at Yun Jingman who was surrounded by the mist of light. For a moment, he couldn't take his eyes away. He gradually let go of the reason why it was her and why she was the most important to him. It seemed that he had found the reason at this moment.
"Yue, can you answer my question now?" Yun Jingman asked in a low voice, unaware of Gu Yue's complicated thoughts.
"What's the problem?" Gu Yue came back to his senses awkwardly. He just...
"Have I known you before?"
Gu Yue looked at Yun Jingman, nodded slightly and said, "I know her." He always put her wishes first, so he would agree with her no matter what she wanted to do.
"Then, Yue, can you tell me everything about the past?" Youshen stared at Gu Yue with his earnest eyes.
"No." Gu Yue refused.
"Why?" Yun Jingman was puzzled and frowned slightly.
"Because Yan'er just said that she wants to recover her past memories one by one. She can only find them by herself, not by me." Gu Yue said lightly.
"But where should I look for it? I need someone from the past to tell me." Yun Jingman smiled and finally felt relieved.
"Search with your heart, and feel with your heart. Yan'er is a smart person and will know how to search." Gu Yue smiled faintly.
Yun Jingman caught a glimpse of Gu Yue's unskilled smile in the dim afterglow, and said playfully, "I think Yue must not have liked to laugh before."
"How do you know?"
"I won't tell you." Yun Jingman smiled brilliantly, and Gu Yue was intoxicated by her smile. In fact, Yun Jingman, who was carefree and unaffected by the past, was better? Why did he encourage her to destroy the current tranquility and bring back the memories of the past?
If she could regain her memories of the past, would she be able to smile so simply and purely?
The night wind blew the few crumbling golden leaves on the tree, blew them down and floated onto Gu Yue's shoulders.
Yun Jingman quickly reached out and took the fallen leaves from Gu Yue's shoulder, holding the leaves in his hand and looking at them with a smile.
"I'm tired." Yun Jingman rubbed his eyes and said softly.
"Put your legs down." Yun Jingman said to Gu Yue with a faint smile.
Gu Yue did as Yun Jingman said, and put down her legs. Yun Jingman smiled at Gu Yue, rested her head on Gu Yue's legs, closed her eyes and fell asleep comfortably. She felt that she could relax next to him, and she didn't have to worry about him hurting her.
Was she also so dependent on him before she lost her memory?
But wasn't she Baili Haoxuan's favorite concubine? How could she be connected to Gu Yue? It seemed that she would have to work hard to find her past... She didn't have time to think too much, she was tired, this night had changed her too much.
Gu Yue looked at Yun Jingman who was sleeping soundly on his legs, and a thought flashed through his mind. If it would be like this in the future, how wonderful it would be. She promised him the afterlife, could she give it to him now? But, with his broken body, how could he promise her a lifetime?
The night is deep and the heart is in turmoil.
After Baili Haoxuan calmed down, he ordered the guards to look for Yun Jingman. After searching the palace, Yun Jingman was nowhere to be found.
Baili Haoxuan was furious, but he had nowhere to vent. He didn't know why he was like this. Didn't he love Sang Yuhanyan very much? Why did he always have doubts and feelings of disgust in his heart?
Already, don't love you anymore?