Originated from mountains and seas, life never ends

Chapter 320 Will Change

Mo Hanyu knew that Qin Xiao was staring at him at this moment. He lowered his eyes and dared not look at him. His face became redder under the gaze.

Qin Xiao looked at Mo Hanyu, who was blushing, with a heavy gaze and no joy on his face.

Because of the pounding heart...

So Easy?

In other words, if one day he no longer falls in love with me, will this love end?

If one day, he no longer feels that way, and he no longer has that kind of heart-thumping interest in me...will this love disappear? Will their relationship end?

Maybe by then Mo Hanyu will continue to associate with him because of her sense of responsibility, but the two of them will never be able to go back to the past, and will eventually exhaust themselves and grow tired of each other.

No... maybe I won't be able to reach that time.

Qin Xiao's eyes became increasingly gloomy, he put his fingers to his forehead and thought coldly.

Maybe when he regains his memory and knows about his entanglement with him, he will be annoyed, regretful, angry... even resentful. Maybe he will be so disgusted that he will kill him directly.

Qin Xiao thought coldly and sarcastically.

The relationship between them was never something Qin Xiao could control. Once Mo Hanyu stopped getting close to him, Qin Xiao would consciously distance himself from him, calling him timid or cold-blooded. He just didn't want this relationship to become awkward.

So even if the other person is about to leave, even if he would be extremely reluctant to see the other person leave, he would not dare to reach out to keep him.

He was afraid that he would receive the other party's disgusted look.

What's more, he didn't think Mo Hanyu really liked him.

Maybe it was just physical desire. These days, when they were communicating, Mo Hanyu always mixed some inexplicable physical contact. Even though he had already shown his reluctance, Mo Hanyu would still come up to him again and again to ask for a kiss. Obviously, their current relationship was not confirmed yet...

Their contact was mixed with too much desire, which made Qin Xiao unsure about why Mo Hanyu was pestering him so much.

Just like what Mo Hanyu said, because his heart was beating violently, he thought he liked him. What if his body was just sending out the reaction signals that a normal man should have? Would he also attribute all this to liking him, to love?

The truth is most likely just a mistake, misinterpreting a momentary impulse as love, misinterpreting lust as a need for him...but in fact both are wrong.

Is this possible?

Qin Xiao frowned. The dull pain in his heart made him feel very uncomfortable, but he couldn't help thinking so.

If he rejected Mo Hanyu's inappropriately intimate behavior, would he still be close to him as usual?

The seedlings of doubt grew wildly in his heart. Qin Xiao looked up at the young man in front of him who was beginning to feel uneasy, restrained his expression, and was unable to speak for a long time.

"Xiao..."

As the silence got longer, Mo Hanyu began to feel uneasy. The blush on her face faded. She looked at him, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw his gloomy face. She quickly said, "I told you, you don't have to be so quick—"

"Does the time you mentioned have any meaning?" Qin Xiao rubbed his eyebrows and smiled sarcastically.

Mo Hanyu was stunned: "What?"

Qin Xiao raised his eyebrows and looked at him. His usually calm eyes were tinged with harsh sarcasm. He asked, "What is our relationship now?"

Mo Hanyu choked.

"You said you would give me some time to let me feel your sincerity..." Qin Xiao laughed, raised his chin, leaned back gently, and leaned on the back of the sofa, "But Mo Hanyu, haven't you been rewarded for what you have done? Haven't I paid you?"

"You forcefully kissed me at the door just now. I clearly showed resistance, but you still went against my will and kissed me regardless. Then you pretended you knew nothing..." Qin Xiao's cold smile made Mo Hanyu jump with fear and he became restless.

"What you said about pursuing me, is that sexual harassment?"

"No, it's not like that... Xiao!" Mo Hanyu's pupils shrank, and he stood up suddenly, raising his legs to step towards Qin Xiao, but stopped abruptly under his cold gaze.

Mo Hanyu said anxiously: "Qin Xiao, I——"

Qin Xiao raised his hand to interrupt, sitting firmly on the mountain, his eyes did not waver at all: "Then explain it to me."

Mo Hanyu opened his mouth, looking a little dazed.

"Explain why you kissed me just now without my consent, why you kissed me so often these past few days, and even why you did that on that night after I had clearly punched you!"

Qin Xiao was also a little angry at the end: "You said you like me, does your love mean that you can ignore the wishes of your loved one and do whatever you want? You said you like me because of your heartbeat? Then if one day you no longer have this feeling, can I assume that you no longer like me?"

"You held my hand and asked me to feel your heartbeat. But that's nothing! I can simulate ten different heartbeats if I want, and you—"

Qin Xiao was halfway through his words when he looked at Mo Hanyu's pale face and suddenly couldn't continue. He forced himself to turn his head away from him and continued stiffly, "Yes, I have always been trying to make a big deal out of a small matter. I always pretended that nothing happened after you made an outrageous move... I am also responsible for this matter."

"But, Mo Hanyu, I still cannot accept your love. You..."

Qin Xiao closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, "You may just mistake your normal physical desires for feelings for me. You may be the same even if you change someone else, so -"

Qin Xiao couldn't continue. Mo Hanyu pinched his shoulders with such force that it seemed as if he was going to crush him alive.

Mo Hanyu stood in front of Qin Xiao, half crouching, his hair falling as he moved, obscuring his facial expression. Veins bulged on the back of his hand as he tightly gripped Qin Xiao's left shoulder, breathing heavily, and not saying a word.

Qin Xiao felt a bone-piercing pain in his shoulder. He frowned and gritted his teeth, saying, "Look, even now, you still have no intention of taking care of me."

Qin Xiao could feel that Mo Hanyu had obviously frozen. The face buried in the shadows did not show any expression after all. After a pause, he slowly let go of his hand.

Qin Xiao couldn't bear such a depressing atmosphere, he stood up and wanted to say something else, but met the boy's eyes buried in his hair.

Qin Xiao was stunned.

The blue eyes that were bright and clear a few minutes ago were now gloomy, and the pain and sadness in them seemed to be overflowing. The complex and sad feeling of brokenness covered the eyes, like a broken blue moon, and the heart of the person who saw it seemed to be cracked.

When she looked into his eyes, too many things flashed by - pain, sorrow, struggle,... The expression changed for a moment and was finally buried in dead silence. The shadow covered her eyes again, not allowing a single light to pass through.

"ink--"

Qin Xiao opened his mouth, but didn't know what to say.

"I understand." Mo Hanyu spoke calmly, without the fragility that his eyes had revealed just now. His voice was cold and clear, "I will change it. Are you done asking?"

...What to change?

It is to change the way of pursuit.

Or... a change of mind?

Qin Xiao's fingertips trembled, but his face did not show any expression. He nodded slightly and turned his head away: "No more. I——"

"Then you can go." Mo Hanyu ordered him to leave. He looked at his wrinkled bed, unable to tell whether he was happy or angry. "I'm sorry about what happened before. It was my fault. I won't do that again."

Qin Xiao's pupils shrank slightly, and his heart seemed to be squeezed by an invisible hand, making it difficult for him to breathe.

"……I'm leaving."

Qin Xiao didn't stay any longer, didn't ask another question, and left without hesitation.

The door opened and closed, and finally silence returned.

After an unknown amount of time, Mo Hanyu finally made a move - he gently lifted the hair in front of his forehead, his blue eyes were filled with mist, and tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving shallow wet marks.

The next second, Mo Hanyu raised his hand to wipe it off, and sat silently in the position where Qin Xiao had just sat, staring at the gray carpet.

Qin Xiao returned to the room, feeling as if there was a blockage in his heart, unable to go up or down, and feeling extremely uncomfortable.

This is obviously the answer I want...

Qin Xiao splashed a handful of water on his face and looked up at the boy in the mirror.

The boy had a sharp bone structure and a chiseled outline. Although he was not very tough, he was definitely not delicate. His dark eyes were now covered with a layer of confusion. He stared at himself in the mirror quietly. His expression was still calm, but he looked a little lost.

……absurd.

Qin Xiao closed his eyes, clenched his fingers, wiped the water droplets on his face, changed into pajamas, crawled into the quilt, closed his eyes and went to sleep.

I slept until midnight.

Qin Xiao opened his eyes. The orange light was dim and warm, and the air was filled with a spicy aroma that whetted people's appetites. Perhaps he had just woken up from a dream, and his expression was still a little confused. He sat up and looked at Miao Kaijie across from him in confusion, and spoke softly.

"what are you doing?"

"Huh?" Miao Kaijie turned around suddenly and asked in surprise, "Did I wake you up?"

"No." Qin Xiao found that his voice was a little hoarse. He drank a sip of cold water on the table and turned on a light. "What are you doing?"

"Let's have a midnight snack." Miao Kaijie smiled and took out the food. "Would you like to try it?"

Qin Xiao looked at the grilled fish, roasted chicken, and a few cold dishes he had packed back, and said without hesitation: "Okay."

Miao Kaijie seemed to have expected him to eat it, and even brought an extra portion of rice: "I think this one tastes good...you try it."

The two of them moved the low table and coffee table between the two beds, and sat opposite each other, cross-legged on the soft carpet, holding rice in one hand and picking up dishes with the other.

"It's good." Qin Xiao took a few bites and approved it. "Where did you buy it?"

"It's the third shop to the southeast of the third fork in the road when you turn right toward the north, and then the second fork in the road." Miao Kaijie told him.

Qin Xiao listened carefully to the locations of several stores and asked the most important question: "Where is north?"

Miao Kaijie: ...

Miao Kaijie: "It's okay, I'll take you there later."

Qin Xiao: "Oh."

Qin Xiao stopped talking, lowered his head and continued to eat slowly.

Miao Kaijie looked at him for a while, and suddenly asked, "Did you have a fight with him?"

"…….No." Qin Xiao thought about it carefully and felt that it shouldn't be considered a quarrel. "It's just that you don't like me anymore, right?"

"what?"

Qin Xiao spoke the second half of the sentence very softly. Miao Kaijie didn't hear it clearly.

"Nothing." Qin Xiao swallowed a mouthful of white rice and sniffed, as if he was explaining to Miao Kaijie, or as if he was talking to himself, "It will be fine in two days."

It doesn't matter. Mo Hanyu just said that he would change it, but he didn't say what to change...

Even if they don't like me anymore in the end, they should still be able to be friends.

If I can't even be friends...

Qin Xiao lowered his eyes and chewed the fish in his mouth mechanically. The delicious dish seemed like chewing wax in his mouth.

That's okay, it will be fine in a few days.

There was a sharp pain in the heart, as if tens of thousands of needles were piercing into it at the same time. The tiny and dense needle holes made the heart leak air and wind continuously, as if a gust of wind drilled into the heart, so cold that it could freeze a person.

This feeling is uncomfortable, but bearable.

Qin Xiao thought about it, swallowed the rice in his mouth, picked up the bright red pepper from the box, put it into his mouth, and it was so spicy that tears came out.

He'd felt this way before.

When his sister had half her head chopped off in front of him; when he was watching the warm scene of Luo Qingchen's family of three; when he learned that Meng Liyun's adoptive parents were all killed because of him and the girl was forced to continue wandering, he came to her and met those eyes that were like dead wood but without any resentment -

He has had this feeling before.

He avenged the last one for her as quickly as possible, so it dissipated quickly.

As for the first two...

It was indeed very painful, but time would dilute everything. He believed that maybe in a few months, maybe a few years... or even a dozen years or decades, it would eventually fade away.

He has this kind of experience, so it won't be too difficult.

Qin Xiao took a mouthful of rice, and perhaps because it was spicy, he swallowed it without much chewing, as if he was trying to swallow the air that was blocked in his throat.

You're used to it, aren't you?

Even if in the end... Mo Hanyu really wants to leave and become a stranger to him——

He will also... accept it calmly.

Yes, that's how it should be.

Even if he and Mo Hanyu were together, what would happen? He thought he had a bad temper, and he was afraid that the other party would get tired of him after a while. After all, no matter how much patience one had, it would always wear out.

Even if they can tolerate each other, what happens after that? Mo Hanyu doesn't know when he will find the soul fragment. What if he finds the memory and his memory is restored?

How should he look at him then?

How should he face himself with his memory intact?

Can Mo Hanyu still be as determined and as fond of her as he is now?

...No, he said he wanted to change it.

Qin Xiao finished the food in the bowl, took a sip of cold water, and thought indifferently.

He said... he would change it.

I don’t know if it’s the feelings that have changed, but that’s not important.

...It's better to change it. I don't need to waste time on him, and he doesn't need to worry about it anymore.

This is clearly the ending I wanted.

Qin Xiao finished all the rice, worked with Miao Kaijie to pack up the things, then went back to bed, crawled into the quilt, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Miao Kaijie looked at Qin Xiao, who was almost wrapped like a silkworm cocoon, and raised his eyebrows slightly.

Of course he noticed Qin Xiao's strangeness, but he had been waiting for Qin Xiao to speak, but he got this result...

It seems that getting Qin Xiao to take the initiative is harder than climbing to the sky.

Miao Kaijie sighed lightly and suddenly tilted his head.

No, reaching the sky is not that difficult.